How to build self-confidence after hearing loss
Have you lost confidence since your hearing loss?
When I lost the hearing in my left ear in 2016, I lost a lot of confidence. At the time, I was focused on the practical aspects of coping with my hearing loss and learning to live life without full sound, to pay much attention to any struggles with self-confidence. My focus was on understanding the best place to sit in a restaurant to have the best possibility of hearing the conversation, trying hearing technology and figuring out how to tell people about my hearing loss. My lost confidence went undetected for some time.
The impact of hearing loss on my identity
At the time of my hearing loss, I had taken some time off work to deal with the practical and emotional impact of what was one of the most shocking and scary events of my life. My career as a teacher was a big part of my identity. In the absence of leading a class, interacting with staff and parents, and filling my days with teaching and planning future classes, I didn't know who I was as a person with hearing loss. I felt lost.
Remembering myself
I gradually adapted to and embraced my deaf identity and became passionate about hearing health advocacy. I focussed on everything that made me “me” (my beliefs, personality, relationships, and values)—and crafted a way forward, keeping my identity always in the front of my mind.
More than 5 years following my hearing loss, when I was training to be a coach, a classmate shared a podcast with me, which offered a spiritual perspective on the paradox of life. The following quote struck me:
Try to find in yourself the place that is the same in the midst of changing phenomena.
Even when it felt like everything around me was changing, if I looked close enough, I could always find who I essentially was. My confidence was part of this. I was still the same person I was before my hearing loss, just with a few alterations.
When I consider my life before and after my hearing loss, I realise I now have more confidence in myself, than I ever did before.
Man on a beach with arms outstretched. Photo by Luemen Rutkowski on Unsplash
What is a confident person?
Being confident means having an inner knowledge or feeling that you are capable. You feel sure of yourself and your abilities. This can apply to all areas of life, from who you are as a person to your accomplishments.
Not everyone is born with an inbuilt sense of self-confidence. Sometimes it can be difficult to develop confidence if personal experiences such as your hearing loss have caused you to lose confidence.
4 Tips for building self-confidence
There are several things you can do to build your self-confidence. Some strategies are just small changes to your frame of mind; others you may have to work on for a bit longer to make them familiar habits.
Here are some simple techniques that may help you feel better about yourself.
1. Focus on your values and identity
Our values are qualities that define us e.g. courage, kindness, love, integrity, patience etc. We all have a different set of values. These differences are determined by our culture, upbringing, life experiences, and a range of other influences. Our values are the leading principles that guide and motivate us through life. Being aware of our values allows us to make conscious decisions that are in alignment with our true wishes.
Be proud of who you are. Your hearing loss is part of you, but it doesn't have to define you. Connect with others living similar experiences by joining an online support group or meeting face-to-face, Embrace this part of your identity, while enjoying all the other things in life that make you “you,” such as your loved ones and hobbies, and soon enough, your confidence will start to flow
2. Recognise your strengths and achievements
Everyone has strengths and achievements. What are yours? Recognising what you’re good at and what you have already achieved in life, and building on these things, will help you to build confidence in your own abilities.
Make a list of your achievements and all the things you’re proud of in your life. Look at what you’ve already achieved. Every time you do something you’re proud of, add it to the list. On your hearing loss journey, every time you advocate for yourself, add it to the list!
When you feel your confidence is low, look at the list and use it to remind yourself of all the wonderful things you’ve achieved!
3. Practise positive self-talk
If you have negative commentary running through your mind telling you that you’re no good, you’re never going to feel confident. Think about your self-talk and how it might be affecting your self-confidence.
Try some positive affirmations. Say to yourself things that help build your self-esteem, such as:
I am confident
I am successful
I am strong
I am getting more confident every day
Affirmations can help strengthen your self-esteem by boosting your positive opinion of yourself and your confidence in your ability to achieve your goals.
Treat yourself like you would your best friend and encourage yourself to feel confident in yourself and with your hearing loss.
4. Set some goals
Make some realistic and achievable goals, and start taking steps to achieve them. They don’t have to be big goals; they can even be things like baking a cake or going for a gentle jog. Perhaps your goals are around your hearing loss. Maybe you want to work on your self-advocacy skills or take the steps to try a new hearing device.
Aim for some small achievements that you can tick off a list to help you gain confidence in your ability to get things done.
Need some support?
Sometimes quick fixes don’t help in the long term. If you’re struggling to regain your confidence after a hearing loss, or just want a little support in doing so, I can help.
Through coaching, I can support you in developing strategies to help you build up your confidence and move forward to achieve your goals.
Contact me to arrange a free 15-minute discovery call to tell me about yourself and your goals, and to see if coaching could be for you!
